I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
