I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
