But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
