i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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