so explain again why im purple
no
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
