So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Randomize
