I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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