Kiss
Puke
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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