She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
