So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize