About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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