that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize