Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
