I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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