so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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