To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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