please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
