There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
