i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
