Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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