You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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