hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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