that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
