after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
