I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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