six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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