i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
