I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
