i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
handjob tips. give me some.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
