How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
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