just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
