why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
