Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
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