end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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