seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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