I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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