i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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