He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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