I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
