Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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