so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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