Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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