So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
