it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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