elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
