She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
it hurts more in the daytime
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
