We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
