maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I need a beard to bite.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
