so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
