Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
