I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
