Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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