Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Everything about him screamed your future.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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