He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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