what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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