he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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