I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
