fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
