There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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