...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
