dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
