He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize